how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
