the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
