they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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