put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
