dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
