It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
