Are we in a gay sports bar?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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