so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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