The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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