my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
