I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
is wine microwaveable?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
