I'm drive I can fine osifer
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
