He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
