I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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