Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
