I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
