Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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