Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
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dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Found the puke drawer
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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