Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
