I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
