Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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