so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We had sex on a dog bed..
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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