I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
