On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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