If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
