were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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