thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so let's talk penis.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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