i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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