Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
