She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
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Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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