So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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