He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Sorry my hands just texted you
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
