chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
