im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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