I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
