Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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