I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize