I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
