She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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