i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
