You work out of a Hotel?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
