3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
