Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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