I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
