new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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