how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
