She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
