yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
These tits shall not be calmed
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
