Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize