i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
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If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
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Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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