Do you still have your period?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
He better not be in your backpack
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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