Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
