Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
