weddingsv make me drug and hornr
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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