susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
