I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
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