google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
