this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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