He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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