ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
